Duty
by Orokid
Summary: Tidus's point of view while watching Yuna


_Orokid: I know this is REALLY bad. I'm not all too good with long first-person views, so you'll see that I change from past to present most likely. I know it gets annoying, but I'm trying! Lol. Anyway…_

_Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything else of Final Fantasy X. The end._

_**Duty**_

I can only watch her, rubbing the sleepless nights from my own crystal eyes, a small smile on my lips. She looks so beautiful, with the morning sun glistening on her features, showing each and every laugh line she's yearned from pretending to be happy for all these years. But this is normal, since I believe that no creature on Spira could ever be any competition for her- the fakeness or the gorgeous comment.

She looks my way for a moment, and offers a grin of happiness that I only knew was a mask. Yuna didn't deserve all of this pain after all of her troubles, and I wish I didn't learn how to read her like a book.

"Yuna!" The voice almost makes me jump in surprise and I only turn around to see that the owner of the voice is standing right behind me, his hands to his hips and laughter on his lips. I can only think, wonder, how each and every one of them could smile like that, like everything is all right.

Wakka lets his posture fall into his normal stance, and he took a step forward-

Straight through my body.

It had been nothing to walk through me, and it's no wonder at all why he could. I was just a mere spirit now, wandering the plains, watching over Yuna more than the rest of my good friends. It's all I can do now, since I don't really have a physical body anymore to have her acknowledge like she used to.

"How ya doin'?" I hear the red-head ask her, and I only give a small smile, knowing her answer by heart, no matter what she truly felt. I always seem to catch her lying nowadays, and I always have since that day my existence in Spira ceased for a second time.

She seems hesitant to answer at first, like always, and I watch that hateful smile move upon her face like it will until the end of time when she doesn't want to tell the truth. I can't help but wonder why I'm the only one that's noticed this, or why they just continue to ignore it. "Fine. Thank you for asking, Wakka. I appreciate it."

Liar.

I want to shout out something that'll tell my old Blitzball buddy to pull the truth from her, to be able to console unlike how I can (and I can't, if you haven't noticed). I know that she's not "fine" like she says she is, and… I don't know. I don't want her to lie about this anymore. She SHOULD be "fine", and her inability to be so was my entire fault.

And it had also been my fault that those three little words hadn't even exited my mouth before my job on Spira was done. She had said them though, and… I just wish that I could've done the same. Yuna's much more stronger than I could ever be, even if she thinks that I'm some sort of god or something since I had been read to give my life for hers- whether I understood it or not. Truth is, I always tried my hardest to understand why I had gotten the idea, the reasons, why I was there, but I had rather just accepted and learned what I could.

And tried to learn more and more about the kind woman who had ended up becoming my heart's desire.

I watch helplessly as she turns to leave, her real emotions still locked away within her heart, forgotten by those who swore to love her enough to know her. Why wasn't he stopping her! Why can't that idiot see her holding back those tears!

As soon as I had begun to give up on humanity, on friendship, on- well- Wakka, his firm hand had captured her shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. I can only look at him in disbelief, although I wasn't able to hold back the smile that came to my face as my crystal orbs took in these sights occurring before me.

Yuna's separate blue and green eyes looked up at the former athlete in surprise as well, and he only gave her a hard stare. Wakka let go of her arm, although his eyes never wavered, and he did allow a smile to come to his features shortly after. "You know… You can't keep sayin' that and thinkin' we'll keep on believin' it, Yuna."

"Say what?" As if she didn't know…

"Telling' us you're all fine and dandy when you're not." Finally! Thank you, Wakka! I remember now why I didn't care so much about your anxiety! You ALWAYS pull through when it counts!

Yuna, of course, denies it, although it seems as if the other male and I know that the blush on her cheeks say differently. She gets embarrassed when she'd caught. Especially by her friends. But that shy, somewhat forced laughter only maked me smile, remembering all the memories we held together, of the things I've lost in this bittersweet moment right now.

With a smile on his lips, I watch as he makes her sit down, and he does the same beside her, not smiling, but not really doing much of anything. His hands rest upon his knees as he leans forward, his eyes focusing on something no one can really see, but I know he;s thinking hard about what to say to her. I would've done the same thing (with a different thinking statue, of course), although it's not me who's speaking to her. It's Wakka and no other, speaking about the subject I know she dreads.

Me.

"Y'know… Yuna…" He doesn't know what to say, but I'm hanging on his every word, hoping that he'll convey my emotions or sentiments, I guess, to the woman I lost while in my death.

Well, my second one, at least.

"Y-Yes?" She's nervous, and she should be. Did she seriously think that her thoughts and actions were invisible to her friends, to the people who were more like her family than anything else? From… me?

The man scratches his head in wonder, still pondering about this and that, still thinking whether he should say the words aloud or not. I want to tell him not to hold back, to give it to her straight, but my voice only fails me in the afterlife. A soul departed wasn't SUPPOSED to talk with the living, no matter the circumstances. If so, I'm pretty sure that I would've heard my old man criticizing me all throughout my journey with the people who had become my good friends (if he hadn't been Sin).

Personally, I feel as if he had a running bet on whether I'd admit my feelings or my jealous to the young woman that had lived while I had died.

And I hope he got one major kick in the rear when I had told Rikku that I was after (in love with, etcetera) Yuna.

Anyway, back to the bumbling man who I call friend…

"You know, Yuna, I've known you since you came to Besaid all those years ago, and I remember a lot of things…" If I had a physical body, even for a moment, I would've slapped either him or my forehead. A HISTORY LESSON! "I remember that you always smiled, no matter what, and you always tried to look strong. Even in front of that bully, eh." Yes! Back to getting her to admit the truth (I hope)! My crystal eyes watch her nod, and the fear in her eye grows more and more, little by little. Does he notice that he's hitting the nail right on the head? "Maybe… I don't know." He sighs, and his fist connects with his knee in frustration- not to hurt himself, but just to punch SOMETHING so to focus his mind. Wakka turns to look at her, and I almost pity the two of them. He was struggling to pull her torments out, and she was trying her best to make sure her demons stayed within.

"Yes, Wakka?"

"Maybe you should stop hiding, ya?" YES! Thank you, Wakka!" You finally said it!

The brown haired beauty just watches him in surprise and awe, amazed that he had said that, that he had just put out there what so many others were determined to keep to themselves. "W-What?"

"You never stopped pretending to be happy, Yuna. Especially after Sin's defeat, and-" He didn't say it, but we all knew what he couldn't say.

She never stopped smiling, even after my "disappearance" from Spira. The realization that I, Tidus, had been just a mere dream the Fayth had thought up in their slumbers had probably strengthened that resolve to hide from her real emotions and thoughts. I doubt that she could ever truly get over the shock of losing what is so precious to you.

I know, because I lost her as well.

"… after… Tidus…" she finished for him, looking down, refusing to meet his gaze or anyone else's for that matter. That look in her eyes… I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her until that look went away. Once again, for the millionth time since I had become a ghost, I got used to just being able to watch over this particular young woman. She hated talking about this, about my death. I had found this out a while back when Rikku had mentioned me in a conversation, expressing her worry for her cousin.

I don't think that those two are back to their normal selves around each other just yet, to tell the truth.

"Yeah. After Tidus." For a long time, Wanna and Yuna sat in the silence, not saying anything. Should they though? The main idea was out in the open, and, well… my name was too.

But would she listen to her friend when her own cousin couldn't do anything? I have no idea.

"Think that you can maybe be a little happier, ya?"

She gave him a soft smile, although I couldn't help that grumble that had come out from my lips at the sight of it. She was faking. Again. And I hated it. "I'll try, okay?"

"Stop doing that, Yuna!" I myself had jumped at the sound of Wakka's voice, and I knew that her jump had to have been a little high since she looked ready to fall off her seat about now. "Stop faking, for Spira's sake!" Around the next few moments, my spiritual body had finally gotten whatever bug was in it's system out, and I felt my fists tighten in rage. Why did he yell at her? She didn't NEED it.

I just wish I could knock some sense into his big head…

The red-haired man sighed and rubbed his eyes, hoping to relieve himself from his stress, and I felt the grip on my fists lessen somewhat. "Y'know… I doubt… I doubt that he'd want you this way, ya?"

I heard her gasp somewhat, and I could feel the tears that she had refused to let fall on my own cheeks. That was our connection on this plane of existence, I suppose. I can feel everything she holds back, but… does she feel mine as well? I don't know, but I wish I did. She'd know all of the things that I hadn't ever gotten to say, and she'd understand exactly where I was and why I watch over her like I do.

She got up from her seat, tears streaming down her cheeks, and I could feel her pain drain from me while mine only multiplied by just seeing this.

I HATE being a ghost.

Yuna turns to gaze sharply at the older man, glaring at him while tears moved down her face. As happy as I was that she wasn't allowing herself to hide from her emotions, I was depressed nearly twice as much because of which emotion she was showing at this moment. "How would you know?" she demands from her friend, and I felt like dying again and again from hearing the tone of her voice alone.

My eyes moved back to Wakka, and I'm anxious to hear him say his excuse or whatever it may be called. His expression, his posture, hasn't changed a bit, and it doesn't seem as though he'd be answering anytime soon. What in the name of Hell was he doing! Didn't he care that she was crying over me, and that the subject of my death was still clearly taboo to her ears?

"Yuna… D-"

"Stop it!" I watched helplessly as she covered her ears so not to hear him speak any further. My heart was bleeding for her, and that need to take her into my arms has returned in a ten-fold. "Don't say that I shouldn't hide MY feelings, hide THIS, from all of you!"

He shut his mouth from further continuing his sentence, obeying her every order as if they were once more Summoner and Guardian. If they were, though, I'd be right there with him, trying to console her woes like only I could. And I'd be holding her, stroking her hair as she'd sob into my shirt- much like how she had in Macalania Forest.

Slowly, she began to calm down, tears still falling from her eyes. I feel bad for feeling relieved that she was showing emotion, but this was what needed to happen. Couldn't the Fayth grant me just one more moment of life, so to hold her and tell her that everything would be alright? Please? "How could you ever understand how I feel, Wakka?" I hear her whisper softly, wiping the tears from her eyes with her wrist.

Well, Wakka may not understand, Yuna, but… I do…

"You have Lulu!" she explained, trying hard to choke back the sob that threatened to overtake her. "You have the one you love, while I…" She was hit by a wave of depression again, nearly hick-upping at this time. I understood her thoughts, although it felt more as both a blessing and curse.

She had gone through all those Summoner trials, and yet it had been me to have to go instead of her. It was unfair that, after being able to keep her life bu not summoning the final aeon, I had been forced out of existence without her approval. It was a bittersweet romance that had occurred between us, and it was unfair that we couldn't take it anywhere else.

With that, she had taken off, running towards the beach.

"Man, I hope you're watchin' this…" I know that he's talking to me now, since his head has hit his hands, rubbing his eyes with frustration. "It hasn't been fun to lose my little brother twice, ya? But… Yuna's been taking it harder than I thought. If you were here, I know she'd be all smiles and they wouldn't be fake, ya?"

I know, Wakka, and that kills me. I'm sorry for fading away like I had, and I wish that I could make it up to you all. Especially Yuna.

I wish that I could tell you all of this, my friends.

Before I knew what I was doing myself, I had begun to run after the woman who held my heart in her hands. I had found her on the beach, her body curled up, sobbing between her knees. Once more, I could feel my heart break at this sight, and I just wish that I could help her through all of this. It's been not long enough for her to stop hurting, I know, and my arms ache to hold her because of this fact.

And… I am so sorry, Yuna.

"Why!" Her hands slap the sand surrounding her, and I feel tears of my own fall upon my cheeks at that question. It's not as if I can answer her, but I wish I could, so I could tell her over and over again that I'm sorry and that my feelings for her won't ever change. "I don't care if you were a dream! You were real enough!" she yelled out, pain seeping through her usually kind and cheerful voice. "I loved you… Doesn't… Doesn't that even mean anything to you?"

It means everything to me… I just wish I could tell you that.

She's calming down again, although I wonder how long it'll last this time. Sobs rake her body every now and then, and I crouch down before her, wishing that I could touch her once more. I can't help it when I reach for her, my fingers aching like my arms had before, her cheek my hand's current objective.

"I hate you…"

Those words cause my hand to pull back in surprise, my eyes watching her in fear and surprise. Had she truly meant it? Did she… Did she really HATE me?

"I hate you!"

My jaw drops uncontrollably, and I feel my hurt tighten under my coming depression, my fist doing the same. I wasn't thinking of hitting her- I understood completely that she felt this way, so I just couldn't blame anything upon her for the feelings I've been hoping she'd stop hiding. It was something I had taken to doing when I can't do a thing, even if I had wanted to.

All I can think is I'm sorry.

I am so sorry.

I wish that I could make you pain go away, put you right here in my arms. But I can't. I wish I could go on smiling as you do when everything goes wrong, and that I could hold you now in your time of need.

But… I can't.

Once more, I shakily reach out to touch your cheek, putting all my emotions and feelings into it. I could feel a small gust of wind flow through the beach as my fingers try to feel her one more time, and, for a brief but thankful moment, I could! It felt wonderful, if even it was for that mere moment in time.

"Tidus…" I heard her whisper softly at the feel of the wind across her face, and a small and loving smile ended up on my lips as usual. Had she felt our connection for that little moment?

As the wind began to wither away, I tried doing something I hadn't before, hoping that those myths and such about spirits speaking through the breeze are true. If not, I'll look like some fool to my old man when I return to the Farplane tonight.

"_I love you…"_

For a moment, she looked as though she hadn't heard me, and continued to sit on the sand without moving a muscle. I was going to just give up on my hopes when… tears fell from those beautiful eyes… and those painful sobs once more took place.

"I love you too."

Again, I allowed my smile to grow a bit, my will needed my to kiss those tears from her face, although there wasn't a way for me to do so.

And, again, watching her has become my job, and she knows that I am her guardian again- her Guardian Angel. I love this woman so much, and I hope that she can find happiness elsewhere instead of hold onto a love that can't do a thing right now. But I make a pact with myself-

I shall watch over her, her children, their children, and so on for the rest of my afterlife.

So is the duty of a dead man in love.


End file.
